Meet the Players: Part 1

     Welcome back to another Buster Bowl blog entry. Previously, I introduced you to the event, the captains, and the format. Now, I have the luxury of facilitating you in getting to know the players in this upcoming blog series, “Meet the Players”. Over the next four weeks, I will be comparing each individual to professional athletes. We will proceed in alphabetical order and cover four players per blog entry. Therefore, the next four blogs will look as follows:

Blog #1: Dan Abbgy, Eric Bradberry, Brandon Bush, and Clayton Coatney

Blog #2: Dustin Debeau, Michael Foster, Jason Gross, and Aaron Krupansky

Blog #3: Alan LaBov, Josh Magley, Chandler McKinney, and Noah Reed

Blog #4: Caleb Ryan, Nick Schaldenbrand, Collin Young, and Gabe Zeiger

 

First up, Dan Abbgy.

Dan Abbgy

              Dan is a top five talent in this year’s draft class. The best part of his game lies within his ability to launch nukes down the fairway. Indeed, at a recent golf outing, Dan routinely blasted drives well beyond 315 yards. This is especially shocking when you get a good look at Dan. Unlike most individuals, Dan is butt-less. If you looked at Dan from the side, you would have trouble discerning his back from his legs. Despite this physical hardship, Dan is able to generate enough power to go toe-to-toe with the other bombers in the group. This power, alongside his shot control, easily places him in the Buster Bowl Pipeline’s top five prospect list. Conversely, the worst parts of his game is his pre-shot routine. If Dan were to play a round that took four hours, half of that time would be spent standing over the golf ball waggling his golf club. Luckily for Dan, the cure for his Waggleitis can be found at the bottom of a 19.2-ounce Juice Force Voodoo Ranger.

Dan’s player comp: Giannis Antetokounmpo

Like Giannis, Dan can light up the scorecard/stat sheet on any given round. Additionally, Giannis is known to take up all ten of his allotted seconds before attempting free throws. While no penalties are enforced on either one of them, they both have to deal with the audible countdown from the gallery. Unlike Giannis, Dan’s countdown is in his head. Rest assured, it grows louder with each waggle. Nevertheless, both of their successes depend on their abilities to block out the noise and hit the shot.

 

Eric Bradberry

              Bradberry is easily the most polarizing figure in the Buster Bowl. On the one hand, he battled through numerous heart surgeries and caught every game of his senior year. On the other, he loves to spin false tales just to rage-bait his companions. When asked why, he simply responded, “I am a pathological liar. I cannot help myself.” It is this advanced skill in rage-baiting that has made Bradberry a fierce competitor in the Buster Bowl. Opponents of Bradberry have been heard saying things like “I let him get inside my head” or “that bozo does not stop talking”. Perhaps this skill has contributed to Bradberry being a perfect 7-0 in Buster Bowl play, though his skills as a golfer deserve some acknowledgement. Since paying for lessons at the prestigious Indian Trails golf course, Bradberry’s golf game has transitioned from mid to average. The guy’s got pop in the driver, but the irons and wedges still need refinement. However, there is still a lot of work to be done in Eric's golf game and even he would admit that his game is not where it needs to be. 

Bradberry’s player comp: Ben Roethlisberger

Both players experienced success, but how much of it has been due to strength of schedule? Like Big Ben in 2020, Berry is off to a perfect start (7-0). Will he do what the 12-0 steelers did in 2020? Will he fall apart this year? His colleagues sure think so, as evidenced by him and Jason Gross being voted most overrated. Suffice to say, Berry has a lot to prove this year, just like Ben had a lot to prove at that trial early in his career. (Disclaimer: this comparison does not extend into their personal lives, though Chris Hansen was keeping a close eye on Berry two years ago).

 

Brandon Bush

              During the early years of the Buster Bowl, Bush was a mid-tier golfer whose game was consistently average. This led to Bush being drafted relatively early in last year’s draft, but if he was not a captain this year, you could expect him to go much later (rightfully so). Much of the blame for the Fuzz’s horrendous performance in last year’s Buster Bowl falls on him. He set a Buster Bowl record for highest individual round score with a 126. It is still unclear whether Bush’s back problems or his mental fortitude, or rather, lack thereof, was the reason for his poor performance. Maybe it was both. Who knows. All we know for sure is that Bush will be looking to bounce back from that pathetic display of golf. Perhaps a change of scenery would behoove him.

Bush’s player comp: Tua Tagovailoa

 

From high expectations to fans and teammates praying for anything better than abysmal, these two are desperate for redemption. We will see if either one can bounce back. They certainly have the resources to help them do so, but even if they improve, will it be enough to make a difference in their team’s success? How much improvement will be needed to move the needle?

   

Clayton Coatney

              Coatney is the number one prospect according to the Buster Bowl Pipeline. As such, he is the favorite to go first overall (-280). Dustin is faced with a relatively easy decision on October 8^th considering Coatney has the highest ceiling of anyone in the group. It is hard to find a flaw in his game. Indeed, many men have tried to go toe-to-toe with Coatney and have paid the price. Dustin and Caleb were promised one stroke per beer they shot gunned. The two of them put down 28 beers a piece with Coatney joining them for just about every single one of them. It proved to be Dustin’s undoing. Dustin begged for mercy and Caleb just about granted it to him when they came dangerously close to wrapping their cart around a tree en route to the 17th hole. Coatney, on the other hand, was unphased. If you want to take down Coatney, you can do one of two things: shoot the lights out or take him to the casino and hope he stays there all night. Even then, there is still no guarantee that this will be enough.

 

Coatney’s player comp: John Daly

Nobody gets after it quite like these two, but they’ll still find a way to beat the breaks off you. Maybe this is why their opponents drink in excess. While neither of them is impervious to the occasional off day, do not bank on it. If you are lucky enough to catch him when the sticks have cooled off, do not miss your shots. That is the only way to victory.

 

Up next: Dustin Debeau, Michael Foster, Jason Gross, and Aaron Krupansky

 

See you next week.